Too Much To Love :D

Like Jessica, I'd like to jot down events/details in my life; forget about the rare update. :P

The inspiration of writing a post comes just extremely -of laziness.

It's quite different this time - an amazing vacation during the past four days.

Although it's just Langkawi, hey it's a duty free land. HELO? CHOCOLATES!? LIQUOR!? *smirks*

It will be...no. It is an unforgettable trip.

Apart from all those tanning, food hunting, chocolates and alcohol, it's the people whom you went with.

Normal stuff : lots of laughter, some disagreement, teases, lame jokes etc. etc. These always makes a person begs for no more than having them to last long or forever.

I shall put up some pictures when I get to obtain them from Facebook. :P all from Su-Ann, KerZhing and IanBitch.

Most of all, I'd like to thank you three, Boon Hui...maybe Joshua too since he did try to help.

I had to struggle for breath after loads of alcohol. It happened twice in this trip, and this cause is the first time ever attacked me.

Thank you for being there for assistance, comfort, encouragement and consolation. It felt great to let it all out to you, and whoever I love very much.

I do want you all not to take it as babysitting a drunk, but I understand it's unavoidable. :P

I just really appreciate everything you guys did, because I indeed was falling too much into depression.

I can say it's all fine now. Not perfectly healed, only slightly wounded.

And thank you for making this trip a success...
OMG I MISS IT ALREADY!

("it was good doing business with you" haha inside-lame-joke."ERM~ SEDAPNYA XXX-LAKSA" ; " The Bihun Gang")

Esther Tan had a total new hairdo. Can't wait to see!

Till then, have a goodnight.

First Tag

Tagged by my "comfy pillows", Cassie Lee. :P Remove one question from below and add in your personal question. Make a total of 20 questions and tag 8 people. List them out at the end of the post. Notify them in their cbox that they've been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.


1. What’s your ambition?
Whatever that makes me feel fabulous one day. lol wtf. i'm a loser with no targets. :P

2. Who is more important to you? Friends or boy/girlfriend?
If my love is gonna be my best friend too...so both are important. NEVER CHOOSE ONE! 'cuz i believe the friends and the future one to be understanding and trustful enough towards me.

3. How often do you think of committing suicide?
Quite often, yet not. it just hit when random crazy thoughts go on in the head.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
Not when something's totally fresh/new to me, be it human or not. :P

5. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
TIPU! i can create my own! hmph!

6. What is your goal for next year?
(refer to no.1) sigh~

7. Do you believe in eternity love?
Naively, yes.

8. What's a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend like to you? (List 10)
Just don't be ridiculous, and have good sense.

9. What's a worst girlfriend/boyfriend like to you?

Keep thoughts in the head (it's so like me :P), runs away in awkward/embarrassing situations, a binder.

10.What feeling do you love most?
The appreciation when food's in my mouth, when the person who wants you the most is just around/near/next to you, whatever kinds of gesture.....and erm, party? beach? music 24/7?

11. What is your bad habit?
Hypocrisy. Contradictions. Randomness. Bitchiness. Emotional/Mood swings. Gossips. Judgmental. expects people to know whatever i know. :P all these, bad. yet i still love them.

12. Is there anything you wanna tell the people who hates you?
Come to me, lets talk over a drink. ;) - LOL, i'm not a saint, i just love to listen and opine.

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
i hope everyone knows that i do, and i apologize for any negativities i've created with my bare hands.

14. What does flying means to you?
Worries-free~ Holiday~ Not being a human as of today.

15. What do you currently crave for the most?
body contacts, sex, great kiss..wtf wtf...yea, i'm pathetic and desperate. actually, i crave for those 24/7. wtf LOL :P

16. Define sexy?
I'll tell you when i think someone is, and i'll explain. Sexiness occurs differently in each individual.

17. Describe the person who tagged you in 7 words.
A quite bubbly girl i've not seen for some time, has my great passion of hugging her. :P owh well~ it's just too comforting. like hanging out together, and have fun. :D

18.What have you done to yourself to make yourself happy?
1. shuns myself from everyone, just be silent and MIA for awhile.
2. Music heals. So do romance or comedy flicks/series.
3. cracks my head and open talk it out to a friend.
4. EAT. SLEEP. DANCE.
5. thinking/reading on others' unfortunate events. :( because i'm in a much better situation/environment than they are at now, and I feel helpless.

19. What will you become in another 10 years?
( i really dislike answering unrealistic questions. NONSENSE! )

20. (OPEN QUESTION. i'll reply you in the comments. :D )



...malas la wanna notify, i'll just wait for your time to look onto this blog. :)

Thurs-my-day wtf

It's been long, so don't mind my language.

Yesterday was a lucky day, I considered. :) {lame-ness}

wtf damn random ... ANYWAY!

nope, I didn't go out for a nice date ('tho i wish i could boohoooo).
nope, the big ass assignments didn't finish on their own.

It's just normal lil' things which might happen in one's routine. The combination of all petite happenings made my day real good, and I appreciate all of them damn much.

*doesn't give a shit if you felt a sudden cold*

In the morning, as usual I prepare myself ready for work at the very last minute. Say my shift's at 11:30am, I will need to be at the bus station latest by 10:55am. wtf so detailed.
so i got myself at the bus stop at 11am. A cab was coming from a near distance at the same time, I waved without hesitation. Didn't know why since I rarely take cab, they charge ridiculously.
I did not ask how much the fare was as I used to when hopped in. and surprise surprise, I was charged RM4.20 only as shown on the meter-runner wtf!!! ( normal price Rm10-RM15 )

Me thanked the driver a lot.

Weekdays' business is just average. Two customers/hour on average was devastating! Bored to the max. weird thing was, there wasn't any bitchy demanding customers. All were really nice and friendly yesterday! ok fine, went to the gym after work. and i really did enjoy the workouts.
omg why i'm so optimistic! wtf wtf.

i was thinking to take a cab home 'cuz waiting for a bus might take up to 40mins at least, and i did not have enough cash. so i went to the money changer thinking of selling my S$50. one indian lady took my S$50 note and I asked her quickly how much the rate was. 2.4 babeh! - it is quite high. AND GUESS WHAT, I don't know but I was like couldn't stop assuring myself in the head that I did just passed her just S$50 and she typed S$100 x 2.4 ....aha! already seeing her counting RM240, DUH~ KEPT QUIET LA OF COURSE TOOK THE CASH AND FLED!



WAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA. the change was doubled! wootz!

I headed back to the store to say helo and bid goodbye to some colleagues who were on night shift. Quite a number of customers bade me goodbye too, like really in a friendly way and kinda loud as I walked out. wah~ i felt loved wtf wtf.

Proceed to the counter outside to purchase a coupon for a taxi. the fare from S.Pyramid to SubangMewah remains Rm12. Nvrm, since i'm a bit richer haha wtf. The driver was giving me all sorts of advices along the way home - not to take the 'illegal' cabs, better go for 'gov-approved' ones, studies yada yada. I'm used to these talks, so I was comfortable talking about it and entertaining him. It was pleasant overall.

I couldn't stop telling a few friends. Some i couldn't tell the story at all, and I just said I'm really really happy. And I turned out to be happier when they happened to be happy for me as well. I'm happy that they are happy for me!!! wtf wtf. :P


Crazy it was, i asked my colleague if she wanted to go Euphoria M.O.S. I haven't been there. but i tell you, it was the best club I've been ! Smoke free! Great music! Great place! *thumbs up* and they have this transparent bridge across the top floor from one side to another omg i like it so much!

*super-duper-hyper*

sorry, i just have not had a real good day for some time. :D

In the meantime while calling my friends to share my positive day, I was wondering too if something real bad's gonna happen to me. :/ well, so many stories I've heard and please don't tell me not to believe even one at all as they ARE quite similar.
e.g. a son's dying soon (maybe accident or smth), he does smth real nice for his parents which they find weird+surprising+proud and happy anyhow, then he's gone. WTF. boohhhoooo.

SIGH. just let me be happy, it's ok 'cuz i don't want to die looking old or damn sick spent so much medical fee for nothing.

p/s: I miss you, my extended family.

smooch*

It's pretty interesting to be in a drama, and as an audience at the same time.

*ahem* Drama = be it on stage or social drama*

First of all, I've no idea why but I just felt like putting something... some footsteps, history, so i can something to read when I'm bald with grey side hair and ..alone. wtf damn emo.

Personally, to be in both positions at one time...It's like a time-travelling thing, I don't know how to explain it exactly... but yea, it's cool.

My question is, what's your point/opinion towards two good friends of yours making out?

BOOO- I'd asked that to a few people and as I expected, " Nononononono...it's wrong! how could it be? good friends? nonononono, no way~ "

One of them actually came back and said maybe it could be the result of our beings as well - Asians.
I agreed.
I mean, it's impossible to find a person who practically and mentally accepts, behaves, acts etc.etc. openly and he has no wrinkles at all if he died at the age of 121. =_=
Jebus! Just accept it, Asians will never be any more open/let loose in all kinds of matter.
Warned! I'm not saying I'm F-ing accepting and broadly minded. I am being conservative in various issues too.

Back to the Q, so yea, what's your take on that event happening right in front of your eyes?

{ I do need lots of feedbacks, comments and critics. I am accepting any kind of shootings with all my heart. :) }

My words and statements are confusing all the time, so let me declare these beforehand...

I kissed a good friend of mine, and it happened in front of other buddies.

You might guess it right, but whatever. :P
I had instinct some time ago that this would happen.
Here's the synopsis I remember roughly,
- He was drunk, maybe half drunk, still we were dancing on the floor in the club. But as usual whenever we dance on the floor - head lockings, so-called hot dance shit. lol.
I didn't know why but we just kissed! and totally making out while dancing to the music ( hell! the music was really great that night due to Madonna's HardCandy launch ).
I didn't push him away nor ask/say anything. We just kept dancing and the kiss just went on and on until a friend of ours came " omg omg " laughed, and pushed both of us away from each other. The other friends, haha, the looks on them were like and they said " Kaze, you fucking kissed him! How could you!? ". The good friend i kissed couldn't recall who he made out with. awkwardness is there I assumed very much when he was told about it by other friends.

....sigh, everyone actually thinks I'm such an innocent good boy, won't go flirt around and stuff.
As one always yells, " Where is my good-boy Kaze? come back ! come back! " hahahahaha.

" I can kiss you RIGHT now if you want to! " .....buddies kinda' quiet when i said that. :P

BUT COME ON, I can do those things if I wanted BUT it's under my good control.
Kissing? let me clarify this, it is just a kiss. A make out. A natural act that two (maybe more wtf) individuals would do under some un-explainable conditions/situations/circumstances.

Matter of fact, I'm able to put away the inhibition to kiss anyone and I really enjoy kissing. what's more, a much comfortable kiss if the other part is a friend.
It's like a heaven-like sensation when the lips touch, I meant, this will not happen if you totally throw your tongue to me instantly. I hate it.
I kiss passionately - if that's what you call - and it makes me feel good. And I'm standing strong (always) on my argument : there will never be any deep feelings towards the person I kiss.

Again, it's just a kiss. and to people who are still confused about the beings of a slut ( LOL ), erm, I don't know how to elaborate for you. Slut, by definition, is labelled upon a person who is deemed sexually promiscuous.
READ THAT! i myself can totally respect/accept you , any of you, having ONS..sleep around yada yada..because it's you, your life, not mine. No offence, you're not a slut yet.
I could be sexually active too, just not yet, I have my stand on my principles.

Everything aside. I do think it's pointless to blabber further.
It's there, no, they are there - The thoughts and perceptions coming from AND staying in all paths.
I don't know, but I just feel it. The look in the witnesses' eyes. And for sure, the look on his face by the next night few of us met up for a drink.

I am depressed. was being really a fuckface at work. Colleagues cheered me up, love 'em.
Wanting so bad to assure him that, " Excuse me, it's just a kiss. please, there's no any other thoughts at all. And thank you, 'cuz it was kinda good with the pierced tongue. Something different. wtf wtf. LOL "
Goddamnit, I really don't want to lose this friendship. I really enjoy being his company and vice versa. The only friend who bitches about anything, great fun, laughs, blablablablabla..
You know that kind of friend you really like, but hell! impossible the love-like. get what i meant?

=____= should I talk to him now? days later? weeks? months? ..or no need, act normal nia~ no need to cakap banyak-banyak wtf. ______SO, i just told him this noon that I wanna' assure him it was just a kiss..nthg much.
Since there's no any further discussion, I assume everything's ok. Maybe no, I don't think so. Sigh why i'm so miserable one. :(

I even thought of travelling alone wtf so random. AWAYYYY from social depression.
Plant my feet in the cold sand, enjoy the ocean breeze, lil' sun tanning, maybe work in a farm (the caucasian ones 'cuz they have good natural scenery around them most likely lol), social service...hmmm, i would like to do some childhood education. love to "preach" the kids.. ha~

I don't mind if you call me a freak or any names you can thought of (muka cirit-birit wtf), because I sincerely a coward and thinks only about himself, floating in his own naive thoughts.

anyway, if you would like to share anything, PLEASE do so. I love it and appreciate it very much.
cheers.

diggin'...

It's been four months in exact since I started working as a part-time barista at Starbucks.
Low paid aside, it's kinda' fun at times.

Hitting 20 pretty soon. Can't wait for 21 !
yet, feeling REALLY unproductive.

Found out some friends' little secrets.

've been liking black more than white compare to few years ago.

've been thinking about my studies so much recently.
don't feel like continuing it, it's not what I really want - realisation piles up each day.

Swimming in the power of music is awesome.

Clubbing is such a waste of money. Hitting the cinema and eating places isn't.
and Starbucks, of course. :P

It's 20 and feeling very useless, I wanna' stop study for a bit.
Backpack, travel, taking photos, helping the need, learning...and learn and learn.
Obviously not theories on Supply Chain and Financial Statement wtf.

A few steps closer to one of my beliefs : Everyone has his/her own level of acceptance; and we should really see that.

It's crazy, I'm finding myself adapting to both opposites of many situations/things/interests yada yada yada.

I don't care what you think or who you are; I still care what you think about anything.

See, this is insane. Standing in your shoes, I see myself as psychotic and paranoiac.
but, I know what I'm doing and I know what is_what is.

It's fun. :)


As much as I would like to lay some history/stories/photos here......
I need a cure for laziness.




Love.

the touch

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller! In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart. You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. And you do break a lot of hearts. At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do. You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist. How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused

What's Your Personality Type?

good lord. =____=

.

You Are 80% Open Minded

You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out! Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand. You don't have a judgemental bone in your body, and you're very accepting. You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

The last sentence is so so true. *nods sendiri*

let's roll !

Have you ever realise whenever you're driving, any pedestrian you pass would definitely look at you ( or rather searching hard where the driver is ) and their heads would just follow until your car's ass pass theirs? Or should I say they have their eyes lock on the driver?

You do that whenever a car pass by, don't you!?. ha~!

This really makes me wonder what the heck YOU're looking at, dude! Always!

"It's none of your business at all ! You walk , I drive... so hell, keep walking and looking straight or you'll step the shit! "

I'm a kind and proud Malaysian, I don't say those wtf. *shy*

But yea, what exactly are you looking for? Someone you might know? So, what?
It's not like I could stop my car at the side of the road just to say " hey i saw you! ", and drive away.

=___=

Personally, I do think it's one spontaneous reaction of the humans' genes.

I have tried before whenever I'm out for a jog or a walk.
I look straight everytime a car passes by, at the same time taking a quick peep when the car is about to drive away from my sight.
GOTCHA! I can actually see the driver does take a quick look at me too! ( ish ish~ perasan )

The truth is, it is difficult not to 'look' at the driver. heh! These happen no matter you're at the opposite direction of the car or vice versa.


Ah~ manusia, manusia, tetap manusia. :P

---

Brothers & Sisters Season 2 > OUT !
Heroes Season 2 > OUT !

<3

---

I'm jobless and reckless and speechless and...... for this holiday of a month, with no holidays for X'mas and NewYear when the next semester starts. ARGH!

I'm considering a brilliant idea of dad's : Go for SIA pilot after under-graduate studies.

I have a good height *ahem*, healthy eyes *ahem*, good body *AHEM!*...
what else for a pilot? Attractive?
I'm sure I'm way more than that! *faints*

p/s: Being a vain pot at times is good.

lol, anyway...
( putting "lol" in the blog does sound pathetic, LOL to yourself wtf )

so anyway, yea, I might opt for that most likely.
I'm not thinking about the free air trips, just the money. :P

Pilots really earn a lot ah?
Good pay for a sky-driver?

---

I wanna fly the Airbus 380 la! 'cuz there won't be any stupid bikes bang my plane.

*wweeee~*



gosh~ what's with me and driving.
It must be the accidents. *punches bunnies*